I can't write for the heck

I can't write for the heck of it.
I can't write for being something.
I can't write to derive something.
I can't write for I am not a writer.
I can't write for I am not a poet.

Then why am I writing.

I am writing because I want to express
Those feelings that I don't want to lecture on.
I want to write because I feel a thrust.
A thrust that I cannot bear.

Each time I am pregnant with a new thought,
I deliver it with much pain.
But each pain teaches me something.
Good or bad.
They are my pains and gains.

That is why I write.
But not for the heck of it.
I love pain as much I like pleasure.
My poems are my babies.
And they are the buds that I pick
In my journey.
And they will remain with me through out my journey.